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If you've been nervously laughing at dirty jokes for five years because you've been too afraid to Google something with good reason , this list should clear it right up for you.

Also, as always, consent matters! Be sure to ask and ask again that your partner is as excited as you are if you want to try any of these out.

Rusty trombone. This act is performed on a male specifically and is a combination of anilingus while simultaneously reaching around to masturbate the recipient.

Think about how a trombone is played, and then picture doing that to a human being. I'll let you figure out the "rusty" part for yourself. You probably know what this is by now, but some people have just never asked and now they're too embarrassed, like those people who got through college without knowing how to do laundry.

Two partners perform oral sex on one another simultaneously, with one lying on their back while the other lies on top; each of them facing the others genitals, forming a shape not dissimilar to a Get it?

GET IT!? Donkey punch. This is when you punch someone in the head during doggie style sex because people are horrible and also no one really does this.

Dirty Sanchez. This one is pretty gross because the term is casually racist and also it involves poop. It involves placing a finger into your partner's butt and then wiping it on their upper lip, creating the illusion of a mustache.

Golden shower. This is simply the act of peeing on someone during sex. It is also known as "water sports," which is why when you Google image search that, you get pictures of people smiling on jet skis mixed in with middle aged dudes peeing on teens.

Welcome to the Internet! This can stand for "automated teller machine" but most people don't use that as a sex toy.

It can also stand for "ass to mouth. I'm not a doctor but this is probably not advisable, health-wise. Tune-in Tokyo. The act of twisting and fiddling with your partner's nipples as if they were radio knobs.

This is sometimes purposeful, and sometimes used to describe someone who is inexperienced and terrible at nipple play. Historians aren't positive why it invokes the capital of Japan specifically, other than it's distant and would likely require a lot of effort to successfully reach Tokyo.

This is a diplomatic way of saying ass-eating that's not "anilingus. The act of placing one's testicles gingerly into their partner's mouth, similarly to how you would dip a tea bag in hot water.

Although Soulja Boy directs the act at "that hoe" this can be done to anyone. When having sex from behind, the guy ejaculates onto his partner's upper back without warning.

Satiated, the partner rolls onto their back and falls asleep. They awake to find that the semen has dried, adhering the sheets to their back like a cape that Superman would wear.

The nerd said he was "proud" to have founded a highly controversial website called EscortDeck, a Google-style search engine for sex workers.

It lets men find escorts in all major British cities and invites them to search for prostitutes willing to indulge in particular kinks or perversions, before filtering the women depending on their appearance or ethnicity.

Although sex workers have been using the internet to ply their trade for more than a decade, the site is believed to be the most sophisticated online sex service ever operated in the UK.

It serves as an index of sex, allowing men to search through a number of popular prostitution pages as well as the sites operated by "independent" escorts.

The site is not actually doing anything illegal due to the complex and often murky laws governing the buying and selling of sex.

Karen Ingala Smith, CEO of a charity called NIA that's dedicated to "ending violence against women and girls", slammed the site and called for new laws to make sure men who pay prostitutes face criminal charges.

Up until now, his career appears to have been rather dull, focusing on traditional programming and technology roles.

He registered his sordid business at the end of and has not yet filed a tax return, so it is impossible to say how much cash the venture has earned him.

We have decided not to name the man or the official name of his firm, which is registered at an address in North London. But Ingala Smith said it was little more than a way of helping men explore "racism, violence and abuse".

They can search for sex workers of particular ethnicities, such as Brazilian, Asian, black or simply "exotic".

Women advertise the services they are willing to offer using descriptive words like "teenager", "gang bang" and "pregnant" as well as indicating whether they are willing to endure risky unprotected sex.

She said sex workers face the terrifying risk of violence and often become addicted to hard drugs, alcohol or prescription medicine.

Her research shows that many of the women who enter this trade endured "childhood neglect and abuse". Subscriptions Sign Out.

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Donkey punch. This is when you punch someone in the head during doggie style sex because people are horrible and also no one really does this.

Dirty Sanchez. This one is pretty gross because the term is casually racist and also it involves poop. It involves placing a finger into your partner's butt and then wiping it on their upper lip, creating the illusion of a mustache.

Golden shower. This is simply the act of peeing on someone during sex. It is also known as "water sports," which is why when you Google image search that, you get pictures of people smiling on jet skis mixed in with middle aged dudes peeing on teens.

Welcome to the Internet! This can stand for "automated teller machine" but most people don't use that as a sex toy. It can also stand for "ass to mouth.

I'm not a doctor but this is probably not advisable, health-wise. Tune-in Tokyo. The act of twisting and fiddling with your partner's nipples as if they were radio knobs.

This is sometimes purposeful, and sometimes used to describe someone who is inexperienced and terrible at nipple play. Historians aren't positive why it invokes the capital of Japan specifically, other than it's distant and would likely require a lot of effort to successfully reach Tokyo.

This is a diplomatic way of saying ass-eating that's not "anilingus. The act of placing one's testicles gingerly into their partner's mouth, similarly to how you would dip a tea bag in hot water.

Although Soulja Boy directs the act at "that hoe" this can be done to anyone. When having sex from behind, the guy ejaculates onto his partner's upper back without warning.

Satiated, the partner rolls onto their back and falls asleep. They awake to find that the semen has dried, adhering the sheets to their back like a cape that Superman would wear.

When a woman uses a strap-on dildo to engage in anal sex with a man. A facial. When a man comes on his partner's face. For examples, see pretty much every porn ever.

A pearl necklace. When a man ejaculates on a woman's chest and neck in a way that recalls an elegant pearl necklace.

A challenging technique. Spit roast. A threesome position wherein one person is bent over at the waist giving one guy oral sex, while the second guy has sex with the blow job giver from behind.

The whole thing resembles a pig roasting on a spit. Eiffel Tower. News, views and top stories in your inbox. Don't miss our must-read newsletter Sign up When you subscribe we will use the information you provide to send you these newsletters.

Our Privacy Notice explains more about how we use your data, and your rights. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice. YES NO. Follow MirrorTech. More On Google Prostitution.

Android users urged to delete 17 dangerous apps that can steal your texts and contacts Android Researchers from ZScaler have warned about 17 dangerous Android apps that can steal your SMS messages, contact lists and device information.

Meteors Draconids Meteor Shower peaks this week - best time to see shooting stars from the UK The Draconids Meteor Shower will peak on Thursday night, providing you with the perfect opportunity to see shooting stars from the UK.

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Most Read Most Recent. Viral A manager who spotted her new employee celebrating getting the job in the car park on CCTV shared the clip on social media, where it's racked up millions of views.

Gogglebox Not everyone is destined for fame, and some of the spouses, children and pets of the Gogglebox stars shy away from the cameras. Britain's Got Talent Speaking on Sunday Brunch, the Heart Breakfast presenter recalled the terrifying moment she got home at 7am and found her toddler had been left unattended.

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White dog left unrecognisable after going for a roll in freshly cut grass Dogs A dog has been compared to the Grinch and Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street after accidentally dying its fur completely green during a roll around on some freshly cut grass.

Top Stories. Britain's Got Talent BGT judge reveals terrifying moment she got home at 7am and found her toddler had been left unattended.

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Udita Goswami's deleted online scene

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